Waiting and Wondering

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Adoption / Foster Care / General Musings

This Thursday is the third attempt at a TPR pre-trial. We STILL have not heard from E’s lawyer, but E worked with his therapist last week to write a letter to the judge, and he gave it to his social worker so she could bring it to court.

Prior to her visit, E’s social worker had sent me the proposed open adoption agreement we’re hoping his bio-mom will sign (bio-dad is a pretty much open-and-shut termination). This is why I met her twice, to try and make me seem like less of a monster so she’d go that avenue rather than needing to go through a whole termination trial.

However, during her visit with me before E got home from school, the social worker let her own worries slip out a little. She said she’s not sure what would happen if bio-mom doesn’t sign the agreement, because she has had continuous custody of her 16-mo son, and her 16 year old daughter returned home a few months ago. So it’s really just about the fact that E doesn’t want to return to her, that he wants to be adopted. If she doesn’t sign the agreement, I’m not sure a judge would deem that good enough a reason to terminate.

I cannot imagine the trauma and heartbreak that taking E away from me would cause him. I am all about bio families’ rights and relationships, but E doesn’t even want to visit, and doesn’t even like the idea of the open adoption arrangement. He is SO angry at his bio parents, and I think a reunification with bio-mom would just cause him to spiral into the abyss.

I’m scared, honestly. His bio-mom has historically not put her children’s needs and desires ahead of her own. I’m desperately hoping this time will be the exception.

Eric is not the only one who will spend this Thursday anxious and praying. If it is your practice to do so, would you pray for us? And if it is not, would you think good thoughts? We need them.

The Author

I'm a pastor. I believe in radical love and ridiculous grace. I love to sing and sew, and have a shop on Etsy. I'm trying to make my ecological footprint smaller. I have chickens who provide endless entertainment. Oh, and I'm a formerly single mom by choice, son E (born 6/00, placed 11/23/11, adoption finalized 11/21/14) and now making a life with The Dude and his two kids, Girl-E (12/02) and C (9/04). Baby Bumpy due to arrive around 5/25/15! This blog chronicles my thoughts on faith, family, and the wild adventure we call Life!

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