Psalm 83

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Heart Aches / Spirit Talk / Wrestling with Angels

I’m gathering materials for worship on Sunday, and came across this prayer. I will be praying it tonight, and probably many nights hence. The black dog of depression is nipping at my heels, and I’m struggling right now.

I am so depressed tonight, O God.

I feel as if I am the sole target of an enemy barrage–that all the demons

of hell are bent on damning my soul for eternity.

I remember your precious promises, but I do not witness their


I talk to people about Your love, and they drown my zeal with scorn.

I step forth to carry out Your will, but I feel no sense of accomplishment.

I mouth words, wave my arms, and beat the air with fruitless endeavor.

Then I fall like a wounded warrior, bone-weary, defeated, and lonely.

And I wonder if You are truly my God, and if I am really Your child.

Consume, God, these demons that depress, these enemies that plague my


May the whirlwind of Your Spirit sweep them out of my life forever.

May I awaken in the morning with a heart full of joy, and with the

strength and the courage to walk straight and secure in the dangerous

and difficult paths before me.

~Leslie Brandt

I pray, too, for any of you who are hurting or struggling right now. You are not alone.

The Author

I'm a pastor. I believe in radical love and ridiculous grace. I love to sing and sew, and have a shop on Etsy. I'm trying to make my ecological footprint smaller. I have chickens who provide endless entertainment. Oh, and I'm a formerly single mom by choice, son E (born 6/00, placed 11/23/11, adoption finalized 11/21/14) and now making a life with The Dude and his two kids, Girl-E (12/02) and C (9/04). Baby Bumpy due to arrive around 5/25/15! This blog chronicles my thoughts on faith, family, and the wild adventure we call Life!

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