It’s All Fine…Until It’s Not

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Family Ties / In Transition / Parenting Skills and Spills / Wrestling with Angels

We had some undesirable behavior today. Somewhat surprisingly, E was not the offender; C was. This is becoming a pattern with him, and his mom and Dude are a little worried.

Me, not so much.

Here’s the thing: we have all gone through a LOT of changes in the 9 months (to the day!) since I met The Dude. We all handle it differently. Honestly, I think we’ve been skating along on borrowed honeymoon time, and now the other shoe is dropping. This place in which we all live together doesn’t quite feel like home to anyone at the moment. We have different expectations and habits that we’re trying to figure out and blend somehow. Dude and I parent in some similar ways, but we don’t handle everything in the same manner, and so all three children are now trying to figure out what the limits and boundaries and triggers and consequences are. Dude and I are still trying to get used to sharing space with another person. He’s done it before; I haven’t. We both have habits that annoy each other. We both think certain aspects of our parenting could use improvement. Money is tight. Add to all this that we’re diving into adolescence with all three kids, the two boys both moved up to new schools this year, and we’ve got that whole adoption thing hanging over our heads…and yeah. There’s some stress.

So if an almost-10-year-old boy is acting out, I’m not surprised, even if it is quite unlike him.

I’m trying not to stress about it. Most of the time, I sort of succeed. I tell myself that we just need time to adjust. Other times, I worry about the effect this is having on all of us.

It’s not easy. It’s going to take work. Part of that, for me, is convincing Dude of that fact, that we can’t just coast along like life is the same as it always was, and that these mega-changes should be just taken in stride by everyone “because change is a part of life.”

Sigh. We’re not quite fine…but we’ll get there. I hope.

The Author

I'm a pastor. I believe in radical love and ridiculous grace. I love to sing and sew, and have a shop on Etsy. I'm trying to make my ecological footprint smaller. I have chickens who provide endless entertainment. Oh, and I'm a formerly single mom by choice, son E (born 6/00, placed 11/23/11, adoption finalized 11/21/14) and now making a life with The Dude and his two kids, Girl-E (12/02) and C (9/04). Baby Bumpy due to arrive around 5/25/15! This blog chronicles my thoughts on faith, family, and the wild adventure we call Life!

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