The Trial Looms

The TPR trial is next week, Monday and Tuesday. I’m sure it was due to the holidays, but we hadn’t heard anything since finding out E’s b-dad had been denied visits. E’s social worker e-mailed me today, saying she’s meeting with the DCF lawyer tomorrow, and that the attorney will also want to speak with me and E about our testimonies–when they’ll happen, what to expect, etc. She also dropped the bomb that at the moment, E’s bio-mom, Sally, was refusing to sign the open adoption agreement, opting instead to go through with the trial.

This terrifies me. Although I’m sure adoption is best for E and what he wants, I worry that the judge will see that Sally has maintained custody of his baby brother and regained custody of his older sister and decide she can have E back too. I am having images flashing through my mind of him hearing the news, of packing up his things…I’m trying not to go there, but that’s the way my brain works. And those images make me weep.

I think the next week will be very stressful for us both as we hold these worries and wonderings about the outcome. I’ve been worried lately that I’m too critical of E, that I need to work on praising him more. Perhaps this is the kick in the pants I need, to make sure that no matter what, he knows how much I love him and what an amazing kid he is.

And if you’re the praying sort, I’d certainly appreciate them.