Making a Match (or, “I Think I Met My Child”)

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Adoption / Foster Care / Nuts & Bolts / Uncategorized

After two previous delays, I finally met the child who my social worker thought would be a good match for me.

The steps leading up to this moment included my social worker presenting me with three children she thought might be a match for me, telling me their ages, genders, names for two of them, and a little of their histories and present situations. She had photos to show me of the two kids whose names she knew. Out of those three, she had considered one the most likely to fit with my personality and lifestyle, and after some consideration and prayer over a few days, I told her I was interested in finding out more about this boy.

She was heading on vacation, but since as it turns out she shares an office with his social worker, his social worker e-mailed me and gave me much more information. I started to get excited about him. When my social worker got back from vacation, we set up a meeting so that I could meet with both social workers in person. I found this very helpful, as my social worker knew some key questions to ask that I wouldn’t have thought of, and I could provide greater detail about my life to his social worker.

We decided at that meeting that the next step would be to meet with him. Another family was interested, so I wasn’t keeping my hopes up too much (or, I was trying not to anyway). Unlike what we’d talked about before, where we do a “run in” where the child doesn’t know that we’ve set up the meeting, since he’s a little older his social worker thought it best to meet with him ahead of time and describe the situation.

The meeting for the waiting-parent, waiting-child and two social workers was set for Oct. 3, but his social worker couldn’t meet with him before that. Postponed. So she was going to visit him on the 5th so we could set up a group outing the next week. She got lost when trying to find his new house. So FINALLY she met with him Monday, and he decided he was interested in meeting me, and so last night, we all went out to dinner together.

And he’s awesome. He’s 11, a little older than my suggested range, but not outside what I’ve considered. He’s adorable and funny and despite his dislike for vegetables and reading (not exactly atypical for a 6th grade boy), I could totally picture being his mom.

So here I am. Waiting for Monday so I can call my social worker, report on how I thought it went, and see what the next steps are. Wondering if there might be two of us going to my sister’s for Thanksgiving. Trying to work my way through the jumble of thoughts about Christmas and bio-mom visits and school choice and paint colors and work schedule and movie nights and legal risk and waking up every day with a kid in my house.


The Author

I'm a pastor. I believe in radical love and ridiculous grace. I love to sing and sew, and have a shop on Etsy. I'm trying to make my ecological footprint smaller. I have chickens who provide endless entertainment. Oh, and I'm a formerly single mom by choice, son E (born 6/00, placed 11/23/11, adoption finalized 11/21/14) and now making a life with The Dude and his two kids, Girl-E (12/02) and C (9/04). Baby Bumpy due to arrive around 5/25/15! This blog chronicles my thoughts on faith, family, and the wild adventure we call Life!

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