I’m not sure if it’s just my PMS or what, but I’m feeling kinda sad today. Not enough to knock me out (I’ve actually been really productive), but it’s lingering there. I’m missing my kids today. I know, I know, I don’t have them yet, but at the same time, since I’m adopting from foster care with a preference for school-age, I know she/he/they are out there. And I want them HERE.
I put in a DVD I got from Netflix today called “Adopted.” It’s about two stories: one, an adult woman adopted from Korea as an infant; and the other, a couple adopting a baby girl from China. They filmed the second woman getting her referral call, and I was tearing up. The moment she realized and said, “I’m a mommy,” I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. Her friends and family threw her a baby shower, and the cake says, “Congratulations, You’re a Mommy!” I burst into tears again.
My heart is aching for motherhood today. Maybe it’s hormones. Maybe it’s the fact that my sister just had a baby a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s that school starts in a few weeks and I thought I’d be sending someone off on their first day of school this year.
Whatever it is, it sucks.