Money has been on my mind the past few weeks. I paid my ginormous tax bill, and found out how much I have to pay for quarterly estimates. I have to put away more in savings for taxes every month than I pay for rent! It’s ridiculous, and awful, and stressful. Lately I’ve been wondering if I’m kidding myself thinking I can afford to become a mom right now. My debts are high, and due to financial freak-out by my church, my income is actually basically going to go down in August…ugh.
But. But. I read a devotional this morning on Luke 12, about not worrying about food or drink, only seek the reign of God and those things will come along too. I told as much to a friend the other night when I was venting about my money worries. I told her that it was stressful, but that if I really feel called to do this–if I’m doing it not only because it’s something I want to do, but something I feel God wants me to do–God will find a way for it to happen.
Now I just have to figure out if God is calling me to do this now, or if I should indeed wait.
This sucks.
birch & raven 