Moving forward

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Yesterday was my first home visit from the social worker. Whoa. How did this happen? I went from “Thinking” to “Trying” a lot faster than I thought I would. Or did I? Way back last summer, thinking about this new job I was about to start, I tossed out February as a time to start actively trying to have kids, one way or the other. It was just a thought then, but it turns out that’s just about when it felt right. I’m feeling settled where I am, my support network is growing, and I feel ready to not just *poof* become a mom but go through the involved process that choosing to become a single mama is. With the adoption path, I have home visits and a parenting class and the wait for a “match”; with insemination I have doctor’s visits and sperm bank decisions and no-guarantee-of-success attempts to get pregnant. So either way, it won’t happen tomorrow.

I’m still pursuing both paths at the moment, but a funny thing has happened. I used to ache to become pregnant; it was painful to see my BFF and sister go through their pregnancies. As I left the adoption orientation meeting, I realized that burning desire to give birth had subsided. I saw my (once-again-pregnant) sister that weekend and felt very little envy. Maybe I have my answer as to which path to pursue first. We’ll see…

The Author

I'm a pastor. I believe in radical love and ridiculous grace. I love to sing and sew, and have a shop on Etsy. I'm trying to make my ecological footprint smaller. I have chickens who provide endless entertainment. Oh, and I'm a formerly single mom by choice, son E (born 6/00, placed 11/23/11, adoption finalized 11/21/14) and now making a life with The Dude and his two kids, Girl-E (12/02) and C (9/04). Baby Bumpy due to arrive around 5/25/15! This blog chronicles my thoughts on faith, family, and the wild adventure we call Life!

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