I think I’m moving from “thinking” to “trying.” I have been waffling a lot on adoption vs pregnancy first (I’d like to do both), and had considered going to a doctor to check in on my fertility to help me make that decision, but last week it all of a sudden just became very clear to me that I want a baby. I want to carry a new life inside of me, go through all the joys and bothers of pregnancy, and birth a child. And at just shy of 31, with a stable job and living situation, why wait any longer?
So…I just sent my first known donor request. I don’t think he’ll say yes, but we’ve been involved in an “unofficial” relationship with each other for over 8 years, and I thought it only fair he get first right of refusal. In all honesty, I’d love to have his child, even if it would certainly complicate things, especially if I do eventually meet someone to spend the rest of my life with (which I don’t think he is). But I made it clear it would be a donation only, that I wasn’t looking for a dad, that he would have no legal or financial responsibilities or rights, that it would be MY child, not OUR child.
We’ll see how it goes, but I’m looking at other men I know and starting to look at sperm banks as well. I’m going to try and make an appointment with an OB/GYN (I just moved to the area 6 months ago, have been healthy and so haven’t gotten around to choosing doctors) for a check-up and to start the process if indeed I do go with a sperm bank.