The Perils of Facebook

I love Facebook. I do. I am on it way more than I should, admittedly, but I love being able to keep up with people from all different parts and times of my life. I love the fact that I get support and encouragement from elementary school friends I haven’t seen in 15 years–and I know what’s going on in their lives, too.

All this is wonderful, but there is a danger lurking there. With access to so many people I have known, and the age I am…there’s a lot of babies. At one point a year or so ago I personally knew 15 pregnant women. It seems like every time I turn around, someone’s profile picture has changed to a sonogram. There are baby bump updates, pictures of the nursery, the baby shower, and of course, the happy arrival. Then (especially if it’s baby #1) there’s the flood of “isn’t-my-baby-so-cute” photos every other day.

If I sound bitter…well, I’m not. It just hurts. Especially when most of these mamas & mamas-to-be are my age or younger. I feel left out, and lonely. Because most of the single-no-kids people I know on FB are happy to be that way, jet-setting around the world and enjoying evenings out after work. I hate that I feel hurt and sad and jealous every time someone announces a pregnancy. I hate even more that as a single, still fairly young woman, it’s a hidden hurt. If I were married and trying, people would get it. If I were older and had always wanted kids, or couldn’t because of infertility issues, it’d be understandable. Instead, I’m expected to just be happy for expectant parents and enjoy my “freedom.”

So I click “like” under pregnancy announcements, and I comment on their photos, and I try as hard as I can to share the joy. I am happy for them…I’m just sad for me.